


Little Star

by southpawgunit



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And support, Angst, Black Character(s), Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Coldplay References, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hardcore Coldpay, Little Star, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Romanian character, lot of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 17:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southpawgunit/pseuds/southpawgunit
Summary: Been standing in the corner, studying the lights. The dreaming of escape will keep you up at night but someone had put the flare up, got me in rays.So... I guess I better stay





	Little Star

**Author's Note:**

> Hello something in my head for a while and needed to be out so that's it. That's a hardcore Coldplay and Marvel fan talking which I am.

 

 

Holding herself against the wall while brushing her teeth, she feel another kick of pain. Trying to move past it, Amelia rinse her mouth throwing water on her face trying to wake up correctly, hunger take upon her and she immediately go to the fridge making herself a breakfast, a very full breakfast with eggs and pancakes and chocolate and everything that include sugar. Thankfully, nobody in her family got diabetes, well for as far as she know. After all the cooking, she sit down on the couch watching TV trying her best to not think about anything that concern bad thought.

A knock on the door get her away from the memories, getting up she walk to the door opening it slightly just enough to see the incomer. A red headed woman, beautiful with blue eyes and a kind smile. Her freckles showing behind the light makeup she wears, red lipstick showing how white her teeth was, a pretty knee navy dress with a little black bag. She totally doesn’t fit the neighbor.

 

“Can I help you?” Amelia ask getting the red headed woman out of her own scan.

She nods quietly, her smile not getting away, “Yes. I’m Pepper Potts and I’m here to talk to you.”

“Well, I’m sorry Mrs. Potts but I don’t know you.”

“I know but I really need to talk to you, you probably know about Tony Stark or Steve Rogers?”

She sigh pinching her noses, indeed, she know them and it is already too much, “Unfortunately I do and if you are here from them then I will tell you what I said to them: ‘I don’t want anything from them’ so thank you Mrs. Potts.” She finish closing the door only to be stop by the hand of the woman.

“Please, I’m not here from them, Tony don’t even know I’m here.” She take a deep breath, trying to gather all the courage she had 30 minutes ago. “I’m here from James Barnes.”

 

Frowning, Amelia let her in and close the door behind her. The shock visible on her face rapidly gain Pepper’s face. Amelia stop her right away because she do not want to talk about it, not now, not after hearing his name for so long. Pepper wait for her on her feet until Amelia indicate her to sit down on the couch, proposing her tea that she immediately accept with a smile. Sitting difficulty in front of her she look at Pepper. Especially the ring on her finger.

 

“When are you doing it?” Amelia ask sipping her own chocolate milk.

First, confusion take over Pepper before looking at where the young lady eyes are, “Oooh! The ring? Soon I think, we both don’t want to rush.”

“Tony Stark I suppose.”

“What makes you think that?”

Letting her mind guide her, she smile “You are kind and quiet, totally disciplined and you are what Mr. Stark need, you tranquilize him if people would think that you would have fit Mr. Rogers more it’s the opposite actually, if you were not there he probably would have destroyed this earth.” She take a pause, waiting for a reaction but only a smirk from the red headed one. “Ok, I did some research but even without that I would have think the same.” They both laugh, calming the air but it get tense fast because the subject was about to come.

“How did you met him?”

 

She smile, what a weird memory but a good one.

* * *

 

It was not the first time she saw him, every morning before crossing the street to the school he was there. Always in black, his long dark hair falling in front of his eyes always buying the same articles, which by the way she didn’t know what it was. But, she promised herself she will take a better look the next day. For about a month, she liked to stalk him every morning, how great he treated this old woman or how his hair flipped with the air and him looking like a model right from an L’Oréal ad. So many times, she almost ran into the floor lamp, the same floor lamp but always stopped before hitting it because every time he realized someone was looking at him. She had the most human reflex that every living being would have, she ran.

She always had her morning run because of him.

 

Running the little school she kept up, she opened the door being greeting by Anghel, the young man she engaged to help her with the establishment. Thanks to him, it didn’t fall onto the children and now it was more beautiful than ever. She was a volunteer teacher, helping the little kids and parents in this part of the neighbor. It was a poor neighbor but rich in cultures. And she met Anghel last year, he was struggling in the streets, a little bit snarky to other people he didn’t know even when she tried to help him. He didn’t wanted any charity, that’s how by slowly gaining his trust she proposed him a job in her school where he could do the cleaning, repaired what was damaged and particularly learning.

 

Amelia has 23 kids at her charges, taking them for free while their parents were killing themselves at the job, most of the times coming late but she didn’t care much. More time with theses littles ones, playing with them, laughing and taking care to see at the end all the love they gave to her with gifts and hugs. Knowing their parents put their trusts into her to be their figure of education was another reason she loved her job.

 

“Bună dimineaţa!” Anghel said in Romanian with a smile.

“Bună dimineața și pentru tine Anghel!” She said back waving him. She had to learn Romanian really fast to talk to those people around her, but she could learn them English while learning Romanian too. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Good actually, Mamă got a promotion, nothing big but enough for her to work less.”

“Oh, good! You can spend more time with your mother and less time here now.” She said jokingly, dressing the little table.

“No way! I am not going anywhere. What about you? Still got your morning run?”

“Please, don’t talk about it! He is getting faster now, I had to run faster too.” She laughed bitterly, her legs started to hurt her.

 

He only laughed at her answer, he didn’t saw the mysterious man yet but heard about him so many times, he probably knew more about him than the man himself.

Seeing the kids coming, they opened the door letting them in. After a bunch of hugs and kisses, the day could begin.

 

When the moon was showing and the last child was gone, it was time for her to close the school. This time she was alone, Anghel went home sooner to spend the day with his mom, first time after the death of his father she couldn’t say no. However now, she might regretted it a little bit seeing how dark was the road she needed to take. After taking a deep breath, she started to walk before seeing the one she was stalking his body resting against a tree with his arms crossed with judgment but a little smirk on his face.

But, an arm grabbed by the neck, dragging her in of the building cage still choking her. Trying to get away from him, she kicked him in the chest only to hurt herself. The more time past, less air was going in her body, she debated herself as much a possible no matter what the man with a black mask didn’t wanted to let go. She thought about Anghel and the children who needed her, she couldn’t let them.

 

Then, a second after the man was on the ground screaming like a coward, was it the same man who choking her to death one second ago?

Still on the ground holding her neck she turned around and saw the L’Oréal man, to say she was happy was definitely not enough.

 

“Spying is never a good thing.” He said trying to put her up.

 

* * *

 

“That’s how you first met?” Pepper ask now grabbing one of the pancakes who seems delicious.

“Hum hum, he thought I was a spy and even threatened me.” She smile at that, “But at the end, we get closer and actually start to ‘date’.” She say mimicking quotation marks. Pepper frown probably asking herself why the quotation mark. “James never did dating, he was so awkward at everything but still cute so I think it was great. We started to hang out a lot, then kissing a lot then him spending a lot of time in my house, living with me. I didn’t knew much of his past life and I definitely didn’t wanted to push him, then his nightmare started. I was powerless in front of this, the violence and the memories were too much.”

“But you helped him?”

 

Amelia nod.

* * *

 

Holding his arms on the bed trying to stop from making any movements. His metal arm was slowly reaching her own arm.

 

“James, baby wake up please.” She get on him trying to wake him up. “Barnes! Wake up now!” She said a little louder only for him to wake up brutally. She immediately hugged him.

“Melie?”

She nodded vigorously against his chest, “Yes, I’m here don’t worry.”

“You… You were… I was about to…” He couldn’t finished his sentence.

“It’s ok James, look at me little star, focus on me.” She said her hands holding his head, his eyes were red and he was about to cry. “Can you wait for me here?” She asked unsure. He, himself, wasn’t sure. “Just a minute ok?”

 

He nodded kissing her slowly and deeply. She went into the bathroom for what seemed like an hour for him when it was only 5 minutes, he saw her hand reaching his one, the metal one.

 

“C’mon little star, I trust you.”

 

His cold hand grabbed her hot and wet one following her in the bathroom to see the bathtub full of water. She slowly removed his clothes and removed her own to get in the hot water first. He followed her right after, resting on her chest.

His arms around her while her own hand stroked his long dark hair. She started humming one of her favorite song.

 

“It’s a fools gold thunder. It’s just warning rain. Don’t let the fears just start what if I won’t see you again, around here you never want to sleep all night. So start falling in love, start the riot and come on rage with me. We don’t need words, we’ll be birds. Got to make our own key. Only got this moment, you and me. Guilty of nothing but geography.” Humming Birds from Coldplay, song of her dreams, song of freedom and love. Feeling him caressing her legs, she kissed the top of his head. “Away with me, we don’t need words. Close your eyes and see, we’ll be birds flying free. Holding on in the mystery. Fearless through this you said, we’ll go through this together. When you fly won’t you take me too? In this world so cruel, I think you’re so good.”

He smiled against her skin, “This is not the right the end.”

“You know the song?” She asked when he got at her height kissing her nose.

“You spend your most of your time singing Coldplay around the house.”

 

It was her time to smile, she let go of his hair kissing him slowly going to his neck leaving a beautiful hickey. She always tried to leave hickey on his body but failed every time, now her teeth were out showing how proud she was.

 

“I did it! Wow this one better not disappeared or I will lose my control.”

He laughed slyly, “I love you angel, you know that?”

“Show me little star, show that you’re mine as much as I’m yours.”

* * *

 

Pepper never knew pancakes could be that good with a story. She was full but wanted more.

 

“So you know about his past?”

“Yes, indeed. I know about the winter soldier, I know about… Bucky but I never called him like that. He was my little star.”

“Why little star?”

“Because of the star on his arm. He hated this arm but I wanted him to accept it, it was a part of him and I love every part of him.”

She can see the love in her eyes, it never go away and probably never will, “How was he adapting with the technology?”

 

She laugh at the thought.

* * *

 

She was washing the dishes, humming ‘ ** _Everglow_** ’ slowly when a loud crash ringed through her ears almost letting the plate fall on the ground. She catch it just in time then turned around to see what her amazing other half did. She prayed hard, very hard hoping it was not another computer broken.

Reaching their room, she saw her beautiful lover looking back at her shameful.

She knew.

 

“Angel…”

“Did you break another laptop trying to close it very delicately? The fifth one” She asked pinching her nose, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Bouncing from one leg to another, eyes looking at the ground he said, “Actually the sixth but it was even more delicately but then the laptop close itself too fast.”

“Baby… what am I going to do with you huh?”

Sadness showed in his eyes, “Keeping me?” He asked slowly.

 

She held him in her arms, she was shorter than him just reaching his shoulder. Her lips rested on the scars of his metal arms kissing them slowly.

 

“Forever, never doubt it little star.”

* * *

 

“He broke 3 phones because Siri talked to him.” She hears Pepper laugh, “He was afraid that one day I will go away, know the real him and run. I never did and I never will. I adore him as much as he did even when he was possessive and jealous.”

“Jealous? Of who? Anghel?”

“Totally, he started to work with me at the school, teaching the young people to defend themselves in front of aggressor. After my aggression, which by the way never happened again, I wanted him to learn to the little girls and boys to be stronger and I know one he could do it.”

* * *

 

“No.”

 

One hour, it has been one hour since she tried her best to convince him to work with her. If she didn’t get what she wanted, feeling and seduction will come.

 

“Baby, listen to me…”

“No.”

“But why? I need your help, the kids need y-”

“NO!”

 

This time he shouted punching the wall with his metal arm making her jump in fear. He immediately felt guilty, so he went close to her reaching her carefully with the human arm. His heart broke when she pushed it away but took the metal one just to put it against her cheek closing her eyes at the feeling.

 

“Angel I said no, I don’t always do that because I love you so much with all my heart and because I love you this much I will not be able to see your face like that again. Scared of me, neither the children.”

 

Her mouth still closed.

 

“What will happen if I couldn’t control it? If I hurt-”

“No.”

“What?”

“I am the one saying no now, you are not bad baby. Someone bad wouldn’t be afraid of my judgment, he wouldn’t kissed me like you did last night, he wouldn’t held like you did, he wouldn’t have make love to me like you do every time.” Guiding his metal arm to her hips with that he could hold her closer, “You have the kindest heart I’ve ever seen, helping me every day in my life, making me happier and cooking the best meals actually even if most of the time they burned.” He laughed slyly posing his chin on her head holding her completely while she was trying to memorize every scars around his metal arm. “Never ever you hurt me, neither you’ll do with the children. Do you trust me?”

He nodded stroking her hair gently, “But I don’t trust myself.”

“That is where you are wrong, you are mine and I am yours right?” He nodded again not sure about where she was going when he felt her smile against his chest. “So when you trust me then you trust yourself, we are one baby. It’s not a ‘you’ but a ‘we’ get it?”

“Not totally but kind of.”

Getting away from the hug looking at him, “Well it’s enough for me to say that tomorrow you have work.”

* * *

 

“He teach them?”

“Exactly, he wasn’t harsh or brutal, he has never been like that. The kids love him and like to have him at the school… they still ask for him from time to time especially when the ‘he is on a private mission’ excuse don’t work anymore.”

 

A silent takes place between the two women to be break by the vibration of the redheaded phone. But no answer from her.

 

“You should answer you know, whoever who is calling you non-stop will call the CIA to find you.”

She sighs, “We kind of argued and like I told you, he don’t know I’m here and I don’t want him to know. Nobody should come and disturb you like I did.”

Smiling kindly she says, “you didn’t disturb me and the only reason why is because you didn’t come to soothe your mistakes.”

 

How could someone not fall for her? Pepper asks herself, there was no harm coming from her. Not even a single vice. The way she look at the world is so kind and hopeful that’s probably why Bucky wasn’t able to let go no matter what. That thought pop in her head.

 

“Did he ran away?” Pepper asks regretting it once the smile on her face fade away.

She nods putting a lock of hair behind her ear, “that’s how I found about his hideout, that place he was sleeping in before we got together.”

* * *

 

Their date night was calm and amazing. No panic attack, more trust, he never let go of her hands the whole time, even when she was throwing up because of the big roller coaster in the town fair. It was way too tempting and she liked the adrenaline going in her blood but now, the whole adrenaline thing was too much and the ice cream with the hot dog were going out of her mouth violently. Disgusting and exhausting but his hand was clutched in hers, squeezing it from time to time to help her. After that she looked like a mess, her mascara make her look like a panda, she was tired and weak after washing her mouth. The smile on his face never let her down, always present accompanied with a kiss everywhere on her face or her head. Even with that, she felt stupid.

 

“I ruined everything…”

 

Shaking his head in disbelief, he searched for a bench to sit on, he then took her both hands in his kissing them softly. She rolled her eyes with amusement with a little smile on her face, he could be so simpleton sometimes. He loved those little attentions, those little kisses everywhere on her body, he loved giving it as much as he could receive. He knew her little caress will satisfy him.

 

“I ruined so many…” He was looking the right word.

“Date?”

“No… Rendezvous!” He laughed with her at his own silliness, “I like this one better, just to say that I ruined so many of our time together with my past, you throwing up that vanilla ice cream wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh please don’t remind me, I can feel the taste again.” She said knocking her head against his chest, her face scrunching in disgust. He put his hand on her back, she started to shiver in the cold of the night.

“We should head back _home_ , you will not survive not even with my jacket on.”

 

She wanted to argue, first because of her big ego and the fact that she totally could hold the cold with ease and second because it was still so early to leave a fair but when the word ‘home’ ringed in her hair she couldn’t stop smiling. The very first time he called her apartment ‘home’ like their home. Together. The biggest progress was to make him feel accepted, like he belonged here and this the case. She jumped in his arms nodding erratically. At the end she ended up on his back until they make it home, singing Coldplay song and from time to time he was trying to make her fell.

 

Once in the apartment, he put her on the ground carefully, “you know you were not supposed to make an entrance like that, you’re supposed to hold me in the bridal style.” She said jokingly putting his jacket on the couch and removing her shoes when he suddenly put her in his strong arms in that famous bridal style. “I was joking Barnes!”

“No, no, no you wanted it you’ll have it.”

 

He started humming the wedding song and get in the apartment in a theatrical way with her laughing loudly, he slowly put her on the big table kissing her forehead.

 

“Now that we did the bridal entrance can we get to the honeymoon phase?” He asked tickling her neck. She nodded kissing him, for a moment he seemed distant comparing to how the rest of the night ended. But the happiness took over her, she let that go holding onto him.

 

Waking up from the cold on her, she searched for James next to her but nothing, she got up so fast her mind spin. The time to realize her butt was out, the front door close itself. Did he just… ran away? If it was their first time she would have been worried, but knowing what actually could have been make him run away make her more worried. Throwing away the rest of the covers off her, she put the first thing she found, a dress with some shoes, to run after him but damn, he was faster. It was freaking cold outside, dark and she probably will catch the biggest cold she ever had however comparing to what her lover was going through, it was nothing.

When she loosed her trace, she tried to remember if she has been there. It was close to the market she used to stalk him, there was many building but only one has window with newspapers on it. Following her instinct, she got inside it literally climbing the stairs two by two, it seemed like there was no end to the stairs and he was apparently at the last stage, the highest one. Amazing.

 

“You better be in there Barnes.” She whispered to herself catching her breath between two heartbeats.

 

When she finally got in front the door, it was half open so that means he just got in there. She wasn’t that slow. Earing some hits on the wall and murmuring, she slowly pushed the door open only to find him knees on the floor hurting his metal arm against the wall in the sort of living room/bedroom. She was afraid to scare him away, that following him was maybe too much. It feels like she entered his personal space, somewhere nobody not even his mind was allowed but the little cry that escape his mouth hurt her so hard, she wasn’t able to concentrate.

 

“James?” She said so quietly, she wasn’t sure he ear but from how he turned around with wide eyes, he definitely ear it. No answer from him, just his big blue eyes full of tears looking at her, her heartbeat was ringing in her ears so she kneeled in front of him carefully to not scare him. “Can I?” She asked guiding her hand next to his one, nothing but silence came to her but she did it anyway, the human hand was hurt, bleeding probably broken. Blood was flowing from where his metal arm started. The view was tearing her apart, she silently hold him in her arms just to be hold back, letting his tears fell slowly on her neck.

“I just want to be human.”

* * *

 

“I end up taking care of his injuries while he told me everything I know now.”

“Did he used to do that often? Hurting himself?”

 

She nods slowly sadness taking place on her face. How many nights did she had to locked the front door for him to not escape, how time did she spend healing his wounds and how many days she woke up to him taking his distances. So many she lost the tracks on them, but she never gave up, never give up and never will. Another kick of pain make her hold her cup tighter.

 

“Are you ok? Maybe we should go to-” Pepper start to panic searching for her phone.

“No! Don’t need to panic it’s normal.” Amelia reassure her smiling difficultly, “Everything is fine.” Pepper nods, “Why did he told you? For you to come for me.”

“He tried to reach me, at the time I wasn’t with Tony anymore. Only working nonstop and sometimes checking secretly his team to see how everything was going then I got this phone call from Wakanda you know?”

“Yes, Mr. Rogers told me it was where he was… sleeping.”

“Indeed, just before he called me, I got a text from Steve which totally surprise me saying Bu- James needed my help but he didn’t knew why. James was asking for me to come and give you this.” Searching in her bag to put it in Amelia’s hands.

 

**James B Barnes**

32557038 T42 A

 

His so memorably dog’s tags with something new on it, just under his army identity.

 

**Amelia Y Ivory**

 

After the departure of Pepper, her tears start to fall down betraying the emotion she is trying so hard to keep inside her. The pain traversing her is unbearable for her, her heart aching she only can think about his face smiling to her with these oh so sweet blue eyes tearing her apart.

* * *

 

“Where are you Barnes? If you are late again I will kick that thing out of the house.”

He laughed shaking his head through the phone, “The thing is a flower, and I’m close to the market, I’ll be there soon like always.”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Come and find it.” She said caressing her little belly, “You’ll love it.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

“Cheesy boy, but I love you too.”

* * *

 

The last thing she remember of him is a conversation on the phone to see his hideout completely devastate.

The last memory of him was the little girl growing inside of her, soon to see the stars on her own.


End file.
